(LEX 18) — The holidays can be magical, but they can also be chaotic. For neurodivergent kids, sudden changes in routine can make this time of year especially tough.
"We know kids that are neurodivergent really need a routine even more so than other kids, and that's hard to have over the holidays. We also know that kids that are neurodivergent can be really picky eaters and have a smaller array of foods that they will eat," family psychologist Katherine Stone said.
Stone says that feeling is common, and the first step is keeping some sense of predictability.
"Talk your kids through what it's going to look like," Stone said. "And if your child can read at the age where they can read and above, write down the schedule. If they're teenagers, put them in the family group text, but let them see the things that you know that absolutely are going to happen."
For Wendy Wheeler-Mullins' family, small pieces make all the difference.
"Some people might want a weighted blanket that's calming or a soft toy, like a stuffed animal or some people might obsess with looking at YouTube on their phone or an iPad," Wheeler-Mullins said. "Some people might want to watch videos instead of interacting with people, which is not being anti-social. It's just putting limits on what's good for you and what works for you."
Another strategy is building in breaks. Stone says stepping away isn't avoiding the holidays — it's helping kids enjoy them.
"Sometimes parents will have a code word and if the kid comes up with a code word, then that means the child's like, hey, I need to go for a walk around the block, or can we sit in the car for 10 minutes and just watch a video," Stone said.
When traditions feel overwhelming, Wheeler-Mullins says it's okay to adapt.
"It's okay for people to be different and they don't have to participate in the same activities exactly as everyone else in the same way," she said.
The goal isn't a picture-perfect holiday — it's creating moments that feel safe, joyful, and meaningful for every child.
