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‘SNL’ Imagines ‘It’s A Wonderful Trump’ For Holidays

Posted at 8:18 AM, Dec 16, 2018
and last updated 2018-12-16 08:18:07-05

(NBC News) — “Saturday Night Live” closed out 2018 with a holiday show that imagined a world in which Donald Trump was not in office. The cold open conjured “It’s a Wonderful Trump.”

“Sometimes I wish I had never been president,” said Trump, played by Alec Baldwin.

Clarence, the guardian angel, played by Kenan Thompson, obliged with a look at what would have happened without Trump in the White House.

“Everyone looks so different,” Trump said. “What are those things on their faces?”

“Those are called smiles,” Clarence said.

In this world, Hillary Clinton was president.

“In this reality, all she had to do to win is visit Wisconsin once,” Clarence said.

He said the controversial emails Clinton stored on a private server were all just Bed Bath & Beyond coupons.

Trump’s wife, Melania, was no longer married to him. She wed pizza magnate “Papa John.” Being apart from Trump resulted in the loss of her accent.

“They said being around you all the time was ruining my language skills,” said Melania, played by Cecily Strong.

Trump responded, “Well, you’re still smocking hot.”

Ben Stiller made an appearance as former Trump attorney Michael Cohen, who in real life was sentenced Wednesday to three years in prison for, among other things, making secret payments to women who claimed they had affairs with Trump.

“I’d never flip on you,” Cohen said. “You’re my best friend.”

Host Matt Damon returned to his role as U.S. Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh who, in this version of events, never made it to the highest court.

“I have so much more time now to hang out with P.J. and Squee,” Damon said.

Robert De Niro reprised his role as special counsel Robert Mueller, who’s investigating Russian influence on the 2016 presidential campaign. He handed Trump a folded up piece of paper that looked like it might be a subpoena.

“It’s a picture of my grandson,” Mueller said. “I’ve been spending so much more time with him since I don’t have to investigate some idiot for treason.”

The world was better off, even for Trump. An immigrant who would have been denied entry under the president’s proposed “Muslim ban” invented a solution for hair loss that had the real estate mogul’s mop looking lush.

Yet, Trump concluded, “I want to be president again.” He got his wish.

On the “Weekend Update” news segment skit, Trump was all too present as president.

Co-host Colin Jost noted that nearly every facet of Trump’s public life, including his time in the White House, his campaign, his charity, his inauguration committee and his business, were subjects of probes.

“This last week was a pretty bad year for Donald Trump,” Jost said.

Co-host Michael Che expressed amazement at Trump’s response to Cohen’s imprisonment. Trump tweeted on Thursday that he relied on Cohen to do what was right under the law.

“He was a lawyer and he is supposed to know the law,” the president said.

“You know who else is supposed to know the law?” Che asked. “The friggin’ president of the United States. I mean, the Pope should know the Bible. … Doctors know medicine. Arby’s knows meat.”

“Weekend Update” also had fun with former New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie, who took himself out of the running to become Trump’s next chief of staff. A photo of a rotund Christie in a jogging suit, bending in pain, was displayed.

“Also taking Chris Christie out of the running,” Che said, ” — side cramps.”

The musical guests were Mark Ronson and Miley Cyrus.