(LEX 18) — The basketball journey has been a long one for Isaac Humphries. He has gone from Australia to Kentucky and back again. He played for the University of Kentucky from 2015 to 2017.
"I was 17 when I came to Kentucky, so I was a kid and I had been thrown into this environment. We all know what playing for Kentucky's like," Humphries said. "It's so overwhelming and you don't really know what's going on half the time. You just try to focus your best on basketball and your teammates, and trying to be a kid as well, at some point,"
After his time at the University of Kentucky, Humphries briefly played for the Atlanta Hawks, then returned home to play in Australia's National Basketball League. He plays for Melbourne United this season. As he got older, he noticed something felt different.
"I'd been through some relationships with girls and nothing was, sort of, feeling right, and it wasn't until I was a bit older, during Covid, where it sort of hit me, like, this is something that I'm going to have to really address now. That's sort of when I fell into my dark space and couldn't really figure it out," he said.
Humphries said locker rooms can be intimidating for people who are not straight.
"There's just a culture within the locker room that being gay just isn't an accepted thing," he said. "I always believed it was never an intentional or derogatory thing on purpose. It was just a culture that everyone fell into. Even myself at times, fell into that way of thinking, and that definitely played into my own self-homophobia and my own issues within myself. But I also think the fear is how you'll be accepted in the team or not accepted. The biggest fear is, how does it affect my career. Will I still have a career?"
Humphries said he fell into a dark place trying to balance his true self with who he felt he had to be.
"It is exhausting. Hiding is exhausting. You live two separate lives, and everything's manufactured. Everything you say, everything you do, it's all manufactured so that people never figure out what you're trying to hide," he said.
At one point, Humphries said, he considered suicide.
"When I was in the space of wanting to attempt to take my life, it was definitely the lowest I've ever been in my life. The lowest anybody gets to in life. I think it was just the fact that I couldn't, sort of, give up and as an athlete, I just was conditioned to not give up, and I just saw so much more that I could do. Look, I'm an uncle to two amazing nephews and I didn't want to be the uncle that was a memory or the uncle that was talked about in the past. I didn’t want to not be there for their lives. That was a big part of why I wanted to get up and change this," Humphries said.
Humphries said he embraced his identity.
"I had spent a lot of time in L.A. That's kind of like my home away from home, sort of my home base now, so I spent a lot of time in L.A. and I'd sort of, on purpose, immersed myself in that community, in a community where I could learn and experience what it was to be gay," he said.
In mid-November, Humphries decided to let his Melbourne United teammates, and the rest of the world, in on the side of himself he had kept hidden. In the locker room, with his teammates before him, Humphries told them he was gay, that he had struggled with it, but that he wanted to serve as an example for anyone else who might be struggling.
An article from Outsports lists six professional basketball players who have come out as gay on teams around the world.
"As a professional athlete, we have a responsibility to be role models and set examples for people in life. A lot of people watch us. A lot of people look at what we do. I learned that at Kentucky, mostly, because everything was under the microscope. You really have an opportunity to do a lot of good in the world. I just never want to waste the amazing opportunities I've been given to help people," Humphries said. "I think I've done my best, but now that this has happened in my life, I've discovered that it truly is my purpose to help people in these situations and advocate for mental health, and men's mental health, and the gay community's mental health, or the queer community. There's so many people involved,"
In the two weeks since Humphries made his big announcement, he said he has seen support from his teammates, as well as anyone he encounters in Melbourne.
"I have to admit, I didn't really know what to expect. I knew on a baseline level of what was going to come, the exposure it would have, but I didn't really know, what I wasn't prepared for is the amount of people that have come up to me and thanked me and shared their stories with me or messaged me online. Every time I leave my house, there's new people coming up to me, sharing their own stories of their darkness or coming out to their family or struggling with it. I guess I'm a safe space, they believe I'm a safe space for them to talk to and that's been amazing, because this whole process has been about others and helping others. Yes, I feel very free and I love the fact that I can be myself, but it was so much bigger than me and I believe it is so much bigger than me," Humphries said.
Humphries said some people have questioned why anyone makes a big deal of a gay man playing professional basketball. Humphries said it all boils down to representation.
"Someone asked me yesterday, who cares? Why does this have to be such a thing? And I'm like, 'Well, a lot of people care,'. There's a lot of people that feel they don't have a voice. There's a whole community of people that just want someone to look at and have someone to be an example. It's the little kid down the road who wants to play basketball, but feels like he's not welcome. That's who cares. It's someone who's really struggling with their life and trying to get up every day and might see this as a tiny glimmer of hope, that if I can do it, then they can. That's who cares. That's who it's affecting,"
Humphries said he has done a lot of work to be in a good place now and he want to show others how their path can look.
"To show people that it's okay. I've done it and I'm fine. I'm thriving. I'm very happy. My teammates, nothing's changed. I'm just living my life and I don't have to hide it, or pretend anything anymore," he said.
