(LEX 18) — The holidays can be a joyful time, but for some, they can add fear and a sense of danger. While domestic violence knows no season, experts say it spikes this time of year.
"You're visiting family, or maybe family is coming to visit, the kids are home from school, people are off work. It can just be a high-tension time," said Darlene Thomas, executive director of Greenhouse 17.
Thomas says the pressures of the holiday season can make an already unsafe situation worse.
"We know those that do harm, those that commit violence in their intimate relationships have a tendency to escalate the violence in the holidays," Thomas said.
Stress, family expectations, alcohol or substance use, isolation, and sometimes being forced to spend more time together can add fuel to that fire.
"I think that leaves survivors anticipating or worrying that it's going to escalate once again on a holiday. Those that do harm have a tendency to ruin the holidays for folks. Make it harder for their partners," Thomas said.
Signs of abuse can often be subtle, but Thomas encourages you to be on the lookout.
"If your loved one always has an excuse why they have to leave early or always has an excuse why they can't come or why they have to leave early or always taking care of everybody else and not themselves, it might just be because they feel forced to in order to try to keep the peace," Thomas said.
Thomas says don't wait for proof to start the conversation.
"Please don't wait until you think you have to have proof, right? You might not see the proof. You might not see bruises or redness or...you know, most time survivors hide those things pretty well from people they love. So don't wait until you have proof or feel like it's justified," Thomas said.
Signs of an abuser can be different from person to person, but Thomas says there are common threads.
"Jealousy, possessiveness, arguments that result in verbal put-downs, degradation, humiliations, maybe destruction of property. Threats to do harm. Threats to harm the children," Thomas said.
And most of all, Thomas says if you are a survivor, you don't have to be alone.
"Make that phone call. Get that help. You don't have to be alone. There are people who care very very much about your wellbeing and your children's wellbeing," Thomas said.
Greenhouse 17's hotline is open 24/7, even on the holidays. You will always be connected to speak with a real person. You can call their hotline at 800-544-2022
