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'There should be no shame': Shelter addresses stigma around men facing domestic violence

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Posted at 7:00 PM, Feb 08, 2023
and last updated 2023-02-08 19:13:47-05

LEXINGTON, Ky. (LEX 18) — Following Tuesday's domestic violence call turned police chase, one man has filed an emergency protective order against Lasielle White.

In his report, the victim of the alleged domestic violence detailed a fight with White, saying, “Lasielle and myself were in a heated argument where we pushed and hit each other. After we stopped, she went and grabbed cooking knives and proceeded to try and pretend to cut me."

The man claims White popped his car tires with a knife and later tried to run over him with her vehicle.

According to leaders at GreenHouse17, coming forward as a victim of domestic violence is a step most men don’t often take.

“It’s because a lot of folks think men should be able to protect themselves, but domestic violence isn't always about physical violence, it's about coercive control and power and control,” said associate director of the shelter, Diane Fleet.

While women are most often on the receiving end of domestic violence, men experience abuse as well.

In one year, GreenHouse17 sheltered 12 men and assisted 148 more.

According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, 1 in 4 men (28.5%) In the U.S. have experienced rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime.

“I think once a guy decides to ask for help, sometimes by society or their informal networks, they might receive harassment or joking or backlash, so we want to make sure men feel supported,” said Fleet. “We do have an 800-crisis line, and we hope people feel comfortable talking to us if they need support.”

Fleet says most survivors she sees, especially men, downplay their abuse. It’s shame that often stops them from making the call and getting help.

“There should be no shame, this is not what this person has done, this is what the person is doing to abuse or take advantage of the relationship,” said Fleet.

GreenHouse17 is one of fifteen regional domestic violence programs in Kentucky. You can learn more about the shelters here: https://kcadv.org/get-help-now/member-programs.